It’s been brought to my attention that I haven’t really blogged much about my jobs/duties/tasks here at RG. Honestly, part of that may be because some days I don’t even know what they are either! What I can tell you is that God has a funny sense of humor. There are a countless number of tasks and things that beg for our attention, but the single most important thing is spending time with the Lord. Romans 12:2 tells us, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” God has been teaching me that I can’t work things out before their time has come. I simply must be in constant communication with Him, asking whether or not the things begging for my attention are a part of His agenda for me. If they aren’t, then I can release those things into His care and go on about my duties. I often times wrestle with this because the things I WANT to give my attention to are not often the things I NEED to give my attention to. As a child, my father (and father figures) usually knew what was best for me, while I had other ideas. Through my journey at RG, the majority of my tasks are not things that I ever wanted to do, but my Heavenly Father knows best, so I have to listen. Let me tell you a couple true tales about God’s work being done through me:

When I was in high school, trying to decide what I wanted to do in my future, I struggled to come up with ideas. It was much easier to list things that I knew I DID NOT want to do. Two of the top items on that list were writing and teaching. Fun fact: I write this blog and I am the science teacher of the secondary school. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that God doesn’t have a sense of humor.

When I went on my first several trips to Uganda, I somehow got roped into contributing to a team blog, to co-writing the blog, to writing one on my own. I begrudgingly agreed to the last one, thinking in my own selfishness that it would serve as double duty–brief stories to tell my supporters the work they are funding and praying over, as well as documentation of my memories of my trips. I sprinkled in my own feelings and emotions every once in awhile, but mostly, I shared stories I wanted to remember and thought y’all would enjoy. Almost all done out of selfish motive. Somewhere along the way, God got ahold of me and told me that my blog would be much more than that. I disagreed and toyed with the idea of just writing newsletters with brief updates, in order to make things easier for myself. (I’m laughing thinking about how stubborn I am and how many times God has to shake me before I act.) Many of you kept asking if I was going to continue blogging and shared how much you enjoyed the blog. I kept accepting the compliments, but internally brushing them off. Finally, sometime before I left in January, the Lord broke me down, and I made a deal with Him. (Yes, I understand how silly and childish this sounds.) I told God that if I really had to continue writing this blog, He was going to have to tell me what to say and exactly how to write it. Lesson learned–don’t challenge God. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'” Little did I know, my deal with God was going to force me to put more trust in Him than I was willing, but as he promises, He is faithful. As I process all that I see and do, I try and keep my heart open to listening for the Lord to give me an idea to write about. While I type, I often get a whole new perspective and re-learn more about myself and God as I write everything out. The only way this is possible though is for me to stay raw and vulnerable. I cringe even writing those words. I’m human–I don’t like exposing my personal thoughts and feelings. BUT, I have found it is important for me to write in such a way because that is when God truly can shine through. After all, the glory has not, is not and never will be mine.

God knows I struggle with this blog, and I often wonder if it even makes sense to those of you reading it or IF anyone even reads it. I’ve learned that doesn’t matter. It is a blessing that God chose ME to do His work in so many ways! He has graciously given me confirmation through many words, comments, emails, texts, etc. from many of you. It truly does encourage me to hear your testimonies of the vast number of ways God speaks to you through this. Each of us is in a different phase, season, time, and place in life, but one little blog can speak to each of us, me included. As we walk through life, we may go through some of the same circumstances and events, but because of a personal relationship with Christ, we will never have the same experience. How awesome is our God?!

Praise the Lord I get to teach science, a subject I love. But God likes a good laugh, and He knows I do too. I am teaching Earth Science–previously, my least favorite branch of science. I don’t ever even recall taking a course about earth science! If I did, I know that I learned the facts for the tests, and then said, “That doesn’t interest me and I’ll never need to know that again.”…….well, here I am, learning those facts again, right along with my students! I may only teach for 4.5 hours out of the week, but the lesson planning, grading, preparing labs, creating activities/labs, etc. depletes my hours in the day rather quickly. (Not to mention, working with minimal resources. My favorites labs from the lab manual are the ones that only require graph paper as the equipment!) On top of not being trained as a teacher, throw in the aspect of foreign culture and English as a second language, and we’ve got a hot mess on our hands. But then when I listen carefully, the Lord is always there whispering, “For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid; for I myself will help you,'” (Isaiah 41:13-14). Every day when I walk into the classroom, I go in prepared for battle, covered will the full armor of God–some days I come out feeling defeated and others victorious.

I love our curriculum because it is Christian-based, but it’s also American.  This is always very humbling and challenging, trying to teach many of the lessons that come so naturally to someone who was born in the land of opportunity and freedom. Some days I may spend an entire hour trying to explain a simple concept or idea, just because my American brain and the kids’ Ugandan brains cannot connect on the same wavelength. Moments like this are when I’m grateful we serve the same omniscient God, who meets us all where we are and can speak to the children in ways I will never understand. The lightbulb that goes on when things finally click for my students, is always followed by a huge fist pump for me (figuratively and many times literally!) I’m not sure which is brighter–the smiles or the lightbulbs 🙂

The hardest part of teaching for me is the cultural barrier. I have a mad love and respect for this part of African culture, but I sure don’t understand it a lot of days. Luckily, I only have a class of 15 students. Their ages range from 12ish to 18ish–why yes, teen attitudes are the same all around the world. Thus, respect and discipline are the hardest and worst parts of teaching. This a culture where the kids would rather be caned and spanked, than publicly shamed by raising their hands and possibly having the wrong answer. How do I know if they’re learning anything, if they don’t raise their hands and tell me they don’t understand? How do I get them to think critically when analytical thinking is not a part of their culture? How do I balance being the fun auntie who plays and loves on them after school hours, but also command respect and discipline while still loving them in the classroom? How can I be their mother, teacher, friend, and mentor? When I figure out the answers to these questions, I’ll get back to you. What I do know is that the Lord loves to bring these words to my mind all the time when frustration comes, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires,” (James 1:19-20). I am a firm believer in showing them grace and love for first offenses, but it’s hard not to think about how they are most likely going to disappoint me again. In Matthew 18 the Bible says, “Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'” I find joy and sorrow in these verses. I am a sinner who needs forgiven 77 times; my children are sinners who need my forgiveness 77 times. God is gracious enough to cover all of those, even when I fall short of forgiving my children and myself.

I’ll leave you with a final, happy thought.

Psalm 139:13:

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

AMEN.

Kelsey/Bananas