The number of tasks I have to do each day is overwhelming. The amount of heartache and trials these kids and people face is overwhelming. The abundance of corruption and evil in this country is overwhelming. The number of bugs and critters in my home is overwhelming. The millions of thoughts racing around in my head are overwhelming. The amount of bug bites, dirt, and sweat constantly on my body is overwhelming. The number of people I come across each day, whose souls are not saved is overwhelming. And the list goes on.

The amount of love I have for these people, and especially, these children is overwhelming. The Godliness in many of the people is overwhelming. The sense of peace, comfort and home I feel here is overwhelming. The natural beauty of God’s earthly creations are overwhelming. The blessing it is to be chosen and called by God to serve Him, and to be used to build His kingdom is overwhelming. The unconditional love and grace that the Father pours out is overwhelming. The fact that God sent His only son to die on the cross for me is overwhelming. And the list goes on.

Being overwhelmed is a CHOICE. Let me say it again, in a different way. We have free reign to choose what overwhelms us. Lately, my heart and mind have been overwhelmed with many situations, circumstances, and emotions in my life. One day several weeks ago, I was having a pep talk with myself. My to-do list was a million miles long, I was frustrated with people and myself, I couldn’t make sense of my own thoughts, and my mind was spiraling out of control. I was choosing to let my mind be overwhelmed by the world. Another day in that week, on my walk home, I stopped to take a look around at the amazing scenery God had painted perfectly. My mind was overcome with thoughts of everything I love about my life. I simply stood in the middle of the road, and I couldn’t even think or speak the words for how overjoyed I felt. Once again, I couldn’t make sense of my own thoughts. I was speechless. This time, I was choosing to let my mind be overwhelmed by the Lord. 

Arguably, the mind is the most powerful part of the body. When we choose to let our minds be controlled by worldly and evil thoughts, we leave no room for the Spirit of God. How can we be led by the Spirit if we don’t let Him control the force that drives us? This thought leads me to another important lesson that goes along with being overwhelmed. Because of many recent events here at RG, one of our pastors preached on the idea that this community has fallen off track. As a whole, we have begun to lose sight of what’s important: We have been FEARING PEOPLE, more than we have been FEARING GOD. If we let our minds stay of this world, we will continually be overwhelmed with the fear of people. If we focus our thoughts out of this world on God, we can only be overwhelmed by Him. “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” Ecclesiastes 12:13

Here are a few experiences I’ve had recently where I felt wrongfully overwhelmed, and the Holy Spirit gently whispered, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world,” (John 16:33). A simple reminder to choose to be overwhelmed by the Lord and fear Him, instead of circumstances and people.

 (The number of stories I could tell might overwhelm you ;), so I’ll keep it to just a few.)

As hostess, I am preparing for an abundance of visitors in the next few months. We still don’t know exact numbers, but at some point, there will be at least 50 people to accommodate. I stress out over how we are going to meet the basic needs of all these people: food, water and shelter. I want the needs AND wants of all people to be taken care of well, but I’m struggling to make that happen. Keyword: “I”. But why do I continually use the word “I”? I am fearing the people; trying to please each person and worrying what they might think if we (RG and I) let them down. Daily, I have to choose to remind myself that if God’s will is for each of these people to come serve, He will make a way. Who am I to try and stop Him? I have to humbly remember that I am simply one of the ones He has chosen to help facilitate His good work.

Previously this month, there was a team of three American doctors/nurses here serving and living in my home. Late one evening after our clinic was closed and most people were asleep, a good friend and RG worker called me and said, “My wife is pregnant, and she’s having contractions and severe pain, but no baby is coming.” Of course, my mind starts racing to try and solve the problem. I told the man to bring his wife to my house and we would figure something out. I scurried around making calls and sorting out details to get his wife proper help. My mind said, “How do I get the keys into the clinic and get the power turned on? Do I even know what other hospitals or doctors there are and where? What about transportation? Why do I have to make these big decisions? Etc, etc.” God said to me, “I’ve got your right hand. You just follow me.” It doesn’t stop there. While in the hospital, all THREE doctors/nurses were trading trips to the restroom, because they had all fallen ill. Eventually, the decision was made that the mother would stay in my house overnight, just as precautionary monitoring. As I laid down that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about little ol’ me in a house with three violently sick medical personnel, one scared father, and one tough, contracting baby mama. I probably don’t even have to tell you all the overwhelming thoughts racing through my head. Let me sum it up: I was scared. Fear led to prayer. Once again, the Spirit said, “How can your heart be thankful for letting me use you, when your mind is busy solving problems you aren’t capable of?” Amen, God. Repeatedly, I have a choice to make. I choose to say, “Thank you, Lord, for giving me the willing heart for serving and the tools and love to take care of your people.”

Every afternoon, I tutor four girls from the primary school in English and math. Many days after tutoring, the girls sit around and chat with me. Over time, they have become fairly open with me, and whether they know it or not, it has really become more of a mentoring opportunity. I love this time with them, but their adolescent, broken hearts carry a lot of burdens; my confession is that many days, I would rather not know their troubles. I’m human. I don’t want to be overwhelmed by their problems when I feel like I have enough of my own. I don’t want to draw close to them because that means that I feel their heartache. I know through this bond, God is teaching both the girls’ hearts and mine. I also know that these kids have a much better life here than they would have without RG, but it still breaks my heart to know that even here, they can’t be protected from all evil. For example, one girl posed a simple question, “Why is it that people here at RG change when the directors are gone?” The only simple but hard truth I knew I had to give was, “If anyone changes when the human authority is not present, that person is placing their fears in the wrong place; fearing people, not fearing God. You and me included.” I certainly hate to admit it, but I am not excluded from this by any means. We should never be overwhelmed with the authorities and rules placed over us; We should be overwhelmed by the grace God has promised each of us. That is our choice. I repeat: “Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” 

Lastly, I was asked to help our accountant with pay day this month. Let me set the scene for you: The accountant lives in half of a shipping container, and the other side is her office, divided by a curtain. My duty was to re-count the money and have each employee sign off that they received the proper amount. My desk was positioned so that I was facing the wide-open door, where the employees wait in line to come in and receive their salaries. Ugandans can be very patient people, but they don’t seem to be good at forming lines, especially when money involved, nor are they aware of personal space. I immediately became overwhelmed with the 25+ sets of eyes watching me count all the money, the chaos that ensued with too many bodies in a tight space, the language barrier, and the tension that happens when money and greed are involved. I felt like I was going to explode; it was such a sad, painful and humbling experience. I wished I could escape and go back to my old reality and un-see and hear the reality of the poverty and chains that bind them. I’m sure you can guess where this is going. I called upon the Lord and sure enough, He answered. The picture that was painted was representative of how great God truly is. I was overwhelmed by all of the people knocking at my door in need. God welcomes ALL of His children to knock at His door constantly. I could barely handle one person at a time. God is big enough to handle the whole world full of people at one time. I didn’t have the power or capability to change a single person’s situation. God has the power to give each and every one of us a new life in Him. I handed these people temporary freedom. God hands us permanent freedom through eternal life.

Sometimes I catch myself singing songs, and I don’t even know how they came into my head. I believe the Spirit sometimes gives my heart those songs; BUT even when the Spirit is in me, I have to choose to listen to it. When I’m overwhelmed by the world, this song comes into my head, and I have to choose whether or not I’m going to listen and believe the words coming out of my mouth, and I also have to choose whether or not I will let them change my heart. 

Praises and Prayer Requests

1. This semester comes to an end next week. We are all ready for the break, but pray that we, the teachers and students, keep focused and stay strong through the end.

2. Visitors are coming soon. Pray for all involved–the marathoner missionaries and short-term sprinters!

3. Continued prayer for the changes in RG. We want to remain focused and overwhelmed by God not the circumstances. Raising up the children as God-fearing young men and women, and staying true to that ourselves as leaders.

Much love,

Labolo Kelsey